Awake as in I am not sleeping in my bed? Sure. Awake as I am aware, present, and ready? Not quiet. I don't feel like I have been awake all week. It has been a blur. I started my new full-time job, got my kids on their new schedules, had a huge meeting on my second day of working, and put our fifteen year old dog to sleep on Wednesday. It has been an unpleasant blur.
Don't get me wrong, I am loving my new job. It is exciting, new, and am I sooooo thankful to have full time employment. But being a full-time working mom of three definitely has its challenges.
My dog....oh my goodness. Hardest and saddest thing I have every gone through. I was numb, asleep if you will, until last night. My mom had put the sweetest picture of her on facebook and I WOKE up. I grieved, and cried, and cried. So lonley and sad without her there. I took a shower, cried some more, and promised myself I would grieve more this weekend. Today, I just need to be asleep, while awake. Going through the motions is what is getting me through.
I look forward to being awake again. To enjoy what is around me, my gifts and blessings. I think when life gets tough, it is very hard to be awake. Kind of a coping mechanisim, I think.
So here is to a weekend of AWAKENESS, of enjoyment of life.
Image of my sweet, beautiful girl. She is finally at peace, but so missed.